
Image courtesy of ITV-F1.
Good timing, Sir Richard!
Well done to the 4B’s, their team, and their families and friends: Branson, Button, Barrichello and Brawn. More at http://brawngp.com.
No, this is not scientific – it’s just my opinion. Following on from my popular Top Tweets of 2008 blog, and 50 Top Tweets of January 2009, these are the best Tweets from Twitter that I saw in February 2009. If you think you said something funnier last month, then follow @clarocada, or add the tag #ttom to your best tweets in February.
February was another month of growth in Twitter usage and mainstream reporting – Twitter hit the headlines again with yet another aircraft down – this time at Schiphol airport, near Amsterdam, and Stephen Fry got stuck in a lift and tweeted his way out.
Here are the best Tweets that I found in February. Choosing 50 wasn’t enough to do justice to this month. Enjoy! 
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smartasshat I like my porn stars like I like my White House. No Bush.2:52 PM Feb 1st from Hahlo
smartasshat I like my White House like I like my lesbo porn. No Bush. No Dick.5:21 PM Feb 1st from twitterrific
nickclayton Turned on British telly. Apparently world is coming to an end. No. It’s snowing in London. Proof third runway needed to boost global warming8:41 AM Feb 2nd from Splitweet
trelvix Fair Trade Monday: You don’t offer your seat to the old woman on the train; I don’t tell you about the bird shit on your overcoat. Deal?1:06 PM Feb 2nd from web
hoosiergirl When you fall ass over elbow on the ice at 28, what hurts most is your pride. When you fall at 38, what hurts most is your ass & your elbow.3:36 PM Feb 2nd from web
andrewburnett @realfreshtv A degree in social media?? Pffft. What next dissertations of 140 characters?4:08 PM Feb 2nd from TweetDeck
RalphBassfeld When you call in sick, don’t tweet that you’re eating in a restaurant and going for a walk. Person fired by @podpimp for this.7:24 PM Feb 2nd from web
homerdash I woke up and didn’t see my shadow, so I went back to sleep for 6 more hours. Pretty sure that’s doing it right.7:42 PM Feb 2nd from txt
practicalwitch Never look away from the water dispenser while refilling. Not even if the cute delivery guy walks in. Um, especially not just then.7:55 PM Feb 2nd from web
DieLaughing If I haven’t been reliving this day over and over, then how do I know that no one will find this obvious Groundhog Day film reference funny?9:33 PM Feb 2nd from Power Twitter
Sweetnote RT:@victorjkennedy A plate of expensive food is just a poo waiting to happen.3:42 PM Feb 3rd from web
stephenfry Ok. This is now mad. I am stuck in a lift on the 26th floor of Centre Point. Hell’s teeth. We could be here for hours. Arse, poo and widdle10:47 PM Feb 3rd from Tweetie
weblivz if Strathclyde Police ever create an online Web 2.0 crime website should it be called http://tagrt.com ?10:17 AM Feb 4th from web
dotSno@Scobleizer Serendipity: when the farm-hand is looking for a needle in a haystack but instead finds the farmer’s daughter
1:33 PM Feb 4th from web
skashliwal “There is only one difference between DREAM & AIM. DREAM requires soundless sleep to see… Whereas Aim requires sleepless effort to acheive11:29 AM Feb 5th from Vakow!
craigmcgill RT pls: has no-one realised Latitude lets you set up list of people you don’t like, see location – and avoid them. Antisocial media is here!12:10 PM Feb 5th from web
lordlikely is awake after a night of drunken debauchery. Both my heads are throbbing.12:18 PM Feb 5th from web
leeodden Retweeting @unmarketing: Remember, The Five Steps of Twitter Success: Follow, Reply, Retweet, Share, Repeat3:34 PM Feb 5th from twhirl
davelaw00 *shudder* thought I wouldn’t have to hear Blair making a speech again. Next to Obama, he’s cringe worthy http://tinyurl.com/cweqjd5:33 PM Feb 5th from TwitterFox
LenKendall Converstations, unlike banner ads, don’t get taken down on a certain date. (Take heed my media planner friends). 5:37 PM Feb 5th from twhirl
alisongow Thanks for those mixed messages. I will attempt to read your mind and get back with an answer. I am also booked on a learn-by-osmosis course 6:13 PM Feb 5th from Power Twitter
skydiver Dear person who just pushed past me to get on the plane: all parts of the plane land at the same time. Don’t make me kill you. Love, Peter 7:10 PM Feb 5th from TwitterBerry
VMDoug People are tweeting at “The World of Concrete Expo”, clearly things have gone too far: http://tinyurl.com/d39b97 10:31 PM Feb 5th from OutTwit
cartoono RT @sharonhayes: tell me a good joke – please? I had to pay a fine on an overdue library book – about Speed Reading. Absolutely true! 8:06 AM Feb 6th from TweetDeck
steverubel “7 Great Things You Can Do With Gmail Multiple Inboxes” http://ff.im/-Xnjx11:47 AM Feb 8th from FriendFeed
gapingvoid “Can’t art be a social object?” Oh, for fuck’s sake…10:05 AM Feb 9th from TwitterBerry
vd “Bandwidth, the petrol of the new global economy”11:04 AM Feb 9th from NatsuLion
globalcitizen The teller at the bank just used the word “necceseriously”. I’m going to write that down in the same list as “supposebly”. 2:52 PM Feb 10th from TwitterFon
mikebutcher Really looking forward to watching “celebrities” reveal how dull they really are on Twitter. In Twitter Veritas! 11:17 PM Feb 10th from Tweetie
swoodruff Standard disclaimer: The views expressed in my tweets don’t necessarily reflect the views or opinions of anyone else, including me at times 4:16 PM Feb 11th from TweetDeck
gapingvoid Off to buy a new handgun… #screwyouwerefromtexas 9:54 PM Feb 11th from web
cartoono When viewed from a train, other people’s lives seem so right and perfect. 1:01 PM Feb 12th from txt
UK_BusinessLabs Did you know that the left side of the brain controls speech? Well it would say that wouldn’t it? 3:27 PM Feb 12th from web
mikecoulter Off to see the EdTwestival human collateral damage at Edinburgh Coffee Morn in Centotre. 8:15 AM Feb 13th from Tweetie
twishes [-O] I wish this damn car alarm would either stay on or STFU, but NOT BOTH IN 2MIN INTERVALS…..*sigh*……. http://tinyurl.com/cf3vfx8:32 AM Feb 13th from twitterfeed
AllisterF I do worry. This town doesn’t have enough bandwidth for the all of us. 11:56 AM Feb 13th from web
PeoplemapsJulie The thing I loved most about @EdTwestival: Connections + Connections = Social… Proper social networking – not biz #EdTwestival 12:03 PM Feb 13th from web
Dutchcowboy screw cancer, lets launch a startup 9:23 AM Feb 15th from Twitstat Mobile
ViruSoul_ One Out of Four People in this Word is Mentally Unbalanced. Think of your 3 Closest Friends, if They Seems OK, Then UR the 1. 12:10 AM Feb 16th from Nambu
borisTwitter tagline: “It is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn” 2:09 PM Feb 16th from web
chrisbrogan The good news is that I’m busy as hell. The bad news is, I’m still not saying no effectively and often enough. Deadlines missed everywhere. 2:37 PM Feb 18th from Tweetie
GilliganPierce When Satan found me this job, he placed me in the office THISCLOSE to the loo everyone shits in. Also, pretty certain they all have diarrhea 2:53 PM Feb 18th from mobile web
shelisrael I just prayed for the Lord to give me my Daily Bread. He told me to go down to La Boulangie & pay retail just like everyone else. 3:20 PM Feb 18th from web
Sznq When you’re stealing someone else’s thunder realise 1.You’re an uninspired copycat & 2. It’ll piss them off. 3.Zeus as an enemy sucks. 3:28 PM Feb 18th from TweetDeck
brandmilitia 2 years ago, to help become a better consultant, my cousin @tacanderson injected me with a street drug called “Twitter”. 3:33 PM Feb 18th from txt
John_Taylor What does it mean to come home to love, tenderness, compassion , understanding & great sex? – You’re in the wrong house!
3:47 PM Feb 18th from TweetDeck
steveswrong (opens reader) Well at least Google stop counting when there is over 1000 items to read. 1000+ looks better than 5 million unread (sinner) 7:50 PM Feb 18th from web
brendanmacneill If RBS lost £28Bn. who’s the lucky fellow that found it? 8:16 PM Feb 18th from Tweetie
Catavarie The worst part about what I’m doing right now is that not only can I not talk about it, but I don’t even know what it is 9:30 PM Feb 18th from txt
sjcurrie Right I have now officially turned into my mother “what the helll are they wearing???” 9:49 PM Feb 18th from twitterrific
weblivz@ewanspence ha – i just re-used someone’s avatar to support the copyright protest – not sure where the hell i stand now! 9:31 AM Feb 19th from web
debasispradhan Someone please tell those people who say “never in your wildest dreams” that they really underestimate the wildness of my dreams! 9:53 AM Feb 19th from web
afirmin @clarocada is an intelligent man,Digital biographer he must be a fan,4 you don’t become an author of note,Unless many insights u have wrote 10:00 AM Feb 19th from TweetDeck
jake Just brought some pirate water. For £1.20 it better at least have essence of pirate. 1:23 PM Feb 19th from twitterrific
swardley @ewanspence: Summarise quantitative easing? How about “An economic laxative. Avoid use when you’re already in the toilet.” 1:29 PM Feb 19th from web
jimwolffman Why Do Some Marketing Materials Use Capitals For Every Fucking Word? Do They Think We Are Stupid. 5:07 PM Feb 19th from twhirl
frontofficebox Yesterday we had an article on breakfast TV about life coaches – for Cats. Meanwhile the world’s economy is in the crapper WTF 7:44 PM Feb 19th from TweetDeck
lxcoza Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fullyrefreshed and on time – Viz 9:27 PM Feb 20th from web
John_Taylor I’m not saying it’s cold this morning, but I saw a lawyer with his hands in his OWN pockets! :-0 9:14 AM Feb 23rd from TweetDeck
alisongow Someone just used the phrase ‘product roadmap’ in cold blood. Good grief… 9:44 AM Feb 23rd from TweetDeck
patrick “Schiphol airport is closed due to a problem with an inbound flight.” I’m in the plane an via Twitter I see there is a crash! 9:46 AM Feb 25th from twitterrific
dotSno Honest, interesting and informed report from traditional media on Twitter reporting of #Schiphol plane crash http://bit.ly/B1zHB4:23 PM Feb 25th from web
jdlasica@jeffjarvis You may want to bone up on some grand Shakespearean tragedies when discussing fate of newspapers .9:42 PM Feb 25th from web
jasontryfon Amsterdam Plane Crash: Further Proof Twitter & Social Media Have Overtaken Traditional Media Sources: http://bit.ly/9nOZN9:55 PM Feb 25th from TweetDeck
mariaschneider RT @rskloot WTF?! Amazon charging $ for each blog read on Kindle (incl my blog and many friends’). No $ to bloggers? Hello, copyright issue? 9:57 PM Feb 25th from web
davewiner I thought at first I’d have to pay to read my own blog, but it’s even worse. They don’t *have* my blog on it. That is soooo damned rude. 10:07 PM Feb 25th from web
GeoffLiving This post is 18 mos old on social media control. Still as prescient as the day I wrote it. http://tinyurl.com/c8afc310:18 PM Feb 25th from web
jonathanfields “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” – Mark Twain 10:49 PM Feb 25th from TweetDeck
angellr What does a Drunken Sailor and the Government have in common? The sailor eventually runs out of $$$ and can’t print more!!! 10:58 PM Feb 25th from TweetDeck
JasonCalacanis @gapingvoid glad to hear you’re off the sauce and cancer sticks… will bring cigars and scotch with me to SXSW!
7:41 AM Feb 26th from web
ewanmcintosh Just seen naked woman jump into Water of Leith screaming at her/a guy before running after him in badly fastened trench coat. 7:45 AM Feb 26th from mobile web
Scobleizer The public fight focuses on fact that Twitter has some deep problems that the rest of the world will hit soon (and is already hitting). 7:59 AM Feb 26th from web
alisongow There are 100+ phones in the newsroom yet the only one that rings is on the desk next to mine. I am Rosemary the sodding Telephone Operator 3:52 PM Feb 26th from TweetDeck
joeslaughter My 6 yo is worried about classmate-she is too perfect. Thinks she may be another lifeform in costume – Maybe stop the science fiction games. 4:41 PM Feb 26th from web
Aubs Thinking of swapping my Lenten sacrifice and instead giving up all the half-assed guys in my life. DEFINITELY a fair trade for caffeine. 9:38 PM Feb 26th from web
stewarttownsend #fridaynews off to get some quality virgin train food, oh the excitement is so much, I may implode on myself 2:38 PM Feb 27th from TweetDeck
EverywhereTrip Oh man this is going to suck. I’m stuck in no bandwidth-ville and am going to have to do major surgery on my website 9:01 PM Feb 27th from TweetDeck
novaspivack Twine will be available shortly. It is becoming sentient right now
3:41 PM Feb 28th from TweetDeck
Kevin_McIntosh_ Has a bank ever bailed you out of a jam? 3:45 PM Feb 28th from web
Avinio RT @tojulius: hey event people, twitter is not gonna change your business, you need to change it first then twitter will help a lot 4:16 PM Feb 28th from TweetDeck

No, this is not scientific – it’s just my opinion. Following on from my popular Top Tweets of 2008 blog, these are the best Tweets from Twitter that I saw in January 2009. If you think you said something funnier last month, then follow @clarocada, or add the tag #tt to your best tweets in February.
January was a pretty big month – a month that saw Twitter hit the big time with that now iconic image of an Airbus in the Hudson River, Stephen Fry and Jonathon Ross talking about Twitter on prime-time chat show, and Twitter’s infrastructure holding up on January 20th with the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States.
Here are the best Tweets that I found in January. Enjoy! 
- gapingvoid @Sznq Oh No! The hippies have already taken over Web 2.0! Fuck it. I’m leaving. Good-bye. 8:18 PM Jan 8th from web in reply to Sznq
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GeoffLiving I am convinced. Having a lot of Twiiter followers means a) you are immensely popular/influential or b) you spend lots of time on Twitter. 2:50 PM Jan 9th from mobile web
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GilliganPierce Damn. My porn won’t download. How am I supposed to show all my friends what he looks like naked if the pictures don’t come through? 4:02 PM Jan 9th from txt
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davidjhinson G-d. Please, not another life coach. I’ve been married 23 years. I don’t need another coach in my life, thanks anyway. 10:40 AM Jan 10th from web
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alisongow Thinking dark thoughts about the delivery man whose non-appearance has sentenced me to freezing showers til Monday. Grrrrrrrrrrrr 1:48 PM Jan 10th from web
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weblivz i feel embarrassed for written language worldwide when i read my mums text messages. It’s like shorthand for minimalists. 2:50 PM Jan 12th from TweetDeck
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leeodden Internet marketing superstar wannabes. Just because you have an opinion and a way to distribute that opinion doesn’t mean you’re right. 4:08 PM Jan 13th from twhirl
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boris Twitter is like a sauna: we are all in the same space, we show everything, but are not really looking at each other. 9:10 PM Jan 14th from web
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boris Of course some people are taking in every detail in this particular sauna and some people are really worth staring at.
9:20 PM Jan 14th from web
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frontofficebox Main stream media is killing itself, by just trotting out the rubbish fed it by politicians and PR – and we’re not listening 10:31 AM Jan 15th from web
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SaraD RT @dwiskus In the event of a water landing, feel free to stand around on the wing while people post pictures of you to Twitter. 11:20 PM Jan 15th from web
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weblivz there’s now an oriental guy cleaning our curtains with a hoover. All all the sentences i thought i’d ever tweet that wasn’t high on the list 2:42 PM Jan 16th from TweetDeck
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Scobleizer Oh, oh, I crashed offbeatguides.com — which is OK, my interview with founder is in 45 minutes. Now we have something to talk about!
6:20 PM Jan 16th from web
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skydiver For future ref: Delta doesn’t find it terribly amusing when you ask if they can make a stopover on 57th and the Hudson b4 heading to LGA.
6:34 PM Jan 16th from TweetDeck
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macwriter As a copywriter, I like to say that I’ve in essence been microblogging for close to 20 years. Just for other people’s brands. 3:54 PM Jan 17th from web
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HeatherPaulsons Unfortunately I will have to explain to my son that his missing hamster now has molted into two dwarf hamsters.. All they had 11:32 PM Jan 21st from web
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patrick My mom asked my what I’d like to have for my 30th birthday, I replied: “I’d love to have one thousand followers”. It’s official, I’m a nerd 3:31 PM Jan 23rd from web
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lyndoman Creativity comes best when you are challenged, you absolutely need someone to question, “what the hell are you talking about?” 11:55 AM Jan 28th from web
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edial Shit. I expected riots on streets tonight, and now Google fixed it. Lame. 3:18 PM Jan 31st from web

I got an email today from a company that host marketing and advertising awards, reminding me that my submission for their 2008 Marketing Awards would have to be in by January 8th.
Thanks for the reminder.
They started out by telling me how, with 12 years of experience judging awards, it was still the case that award submissions were often rejected because they were so poorly presented.
Hmm. Interesting – worth spending more care and attention on submissions, it seems.
They then recommended using a professional awards submission service to ensure any submission stood a good chance of being shortlisted.
Hmm. Maybe worth considering such services if I were looking to enter for awards.
They then recommended a specific company who they had partnered with, who would help with my submission for their awards in January and offered a discount on the service. They also mentioned that this service has “an 80% shortlist track record and a 35% win rate.” And the subject of this email? “Influence the judges and win an award“. What the Hell?
Can you see a huge conflict of interest there? Recommending a service that will prepare award submissions for awards that you are judging – and “partnering” with that service to offer the service at a special discount?
Well, I can. So the 2008 Digital Biographer ‘Most Fundamentally and Astonishingly Conflicted Marketing Awards Insider Cynical Nod and Wink Promotion of the Year‘ Award (in association with A Big Fat Brown Envelope) goes to: The Drum Marketing Awards.
Disclosure: There were no runners-up, as there were no other entrants, and there is no prize.
That email in full:
Read more…
This month, Certain Host are giving you the chance to win a free domain name!
All you need to do to have a chance of winning your very own .com or .co.uk domain name is to give the correct answer to the simple question below, and send us your name and email address (which will be only be used to notify you of the winner). Good luck!
If you can’t see the entry form here, please visit the competition entry page.
Now, it should be well known to you that Certain Host offer a free domain name with three of their most popular hosting packages, but, we’re just making sure, and spreading the world a little.
Remember – this competition closes on 30th September at 6pm Eastern Standard Time.
PS: If you need a clue with the answer to this question, try looking at the web site of a certain reliable small business web host.
Competition: What would you call the combined Microsoft / Yahoo?
Best answer wins a year’s free hosting from Certain Host. Competition closes Friday 8th Feb. Enter here with a comment at http://also.cc
Speakers are being confirmed daily for 2008′s European Web 2.0 Event: The Next Web, and include Robert Scoble, Tech Geek Blogger & Author of ‘Naked Conversations‘, Werner Vogels, CTO at Amazon, and Gil Penchina, CEO at Wikia.

Now in its third year, the Amsterdam event’s focus this April is on quality content, and extensive networking opportunities. Organisers anticipate at least 700 web savvies, internet influentials, and industry journalists from over 20 countries will be in Amsterdam, to be inspired, have fun and do business. This year, attending The Next Web Conference gets you free entrance to BrightLive (European version of Nextfest).
Online Marketing Blog is TopRank’s internet marketing blog about the intersection of social media, search marketing and online public relations, and is ranked #8 in the AdAge 150 top web sites. Today, the Digital Biographer Blog was listed in their Top Search Marketing Blogs BIG LIST.

I get to show off a nice BIG LIST logo, and our web traffic is already showing some healthy curves and clicks from the listing. My thanks to Lee Odden, CEO at Online Marketing Blog for the recognition.

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