Sometimes, timing is everything…
April 2nd, 2009
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80 Top Tweets of February 2009
March 9th, 2009
- Stephen Fry (via last.fm)
No, this is not scientific - it’s just my opinion. Following on from my popular Top Tweets of 2008 blog, and 50 Top Tweets of January 2009, these are the best Tweets from Twitter that I saw in February 2009. If you think you said something funnier last month, then follow @clarocada, or add the tag #ttom to your best tweets in February.
February was another month of growth in Twitter usage and mainstream reporting - Twitter hit the headlines again with yet another aircraft down - this time at Schiphol airport, near Amsterdam, and Stephen Fry got stuck in a lift and tweeted his way out.
Here are the best Tweets that I found in February. Choosing 50 wasn’t enough to do justice to this month. Enjoy! 
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smartasshat I like my porn stars like I like my White House. No Bush. - smartasshat I like my White House like I like my lesbo porn. No Bush. No Dick.
nickclayton Turned on British telly. Apparently world is coming to an end. No. It’s snowing in London. Proof third runway needed to boost global warming
trelvix Fair Trade Monday: You don’t offer your seat to the old woman on the train; I don’t tell you about the bird shit on your overcoat. Deal?
hoosiergirl When you fall ass over elbow on the ice at 28, what hurts most is your pride. When you fall at 38, what hurts most is your ass & your elbow.
andrewburnett @realfreshtv A degree in social media?? Pffft. What next dissertations of 140 characters?
RalphBassfeld When you call in sick, don’t tweet that you’re eating in a restaurant and going for a walk. Person fired by @podpimp for this.
homerdash I woke up and didn’t see my shadow, so I went back to sleep for 6 more hours. Pretty sure that’s doing it right.
practicalwitch Never look away from the water dispenser while refilling. Not even if the cute delivery guy walks in. Um, especially not just then.
DieLaughing If I haven’t been reliving this day over and over, then how do I know that no one will find this obvious Groundhog Day film reference funny?
Sweetnote RT:@victorjkennedy A plate of expensive food is just a poo waiting to happen.
stephenfry Ok. This is now mad. I am stuck in a lift on the 26th floor of Centre Point. Hell’s teeth. We could be here for hours. Arse, poo and widdle
weblivz if Strathclyde Police ever create an online Web 2.0 crime website should it be called http://tagrt.com ?
dotSno@Scobleizer Serendipity: when the farm-hand is looking for a needle in a haystack but instead finds the farmer’s daughter 
skashliwal “There is only one difference between DREAM & AIM. DREAM requires soundless sleep to see… Whereas Aim requires sleepless effort to acheive
craigmcgill RT pls: has no-one realised Latitude lets you set up list of people you don’t like, see location - and avoid them. Antisocial media is here!
lordlikely is awake after a night of drunken debauchery. Both my heads are throbbing.
leeodden Retweeting @unmarketing: Remember, The Five Steps of Twitter Success: Follow, Reply, Retweet, Share, Repeat
davelaw00 *shudder* thought I wouldn’t have to hear Blair making a speech again. Next to Obama, he’s cringe worthy http://tinyurl.com/cweqjd
LenKendall Converstations, unlike banner ads, don’t get taken down on a certain date. (Take heed my media planner friends). 
alisongow Thanks for those mixed messages. I will attempt to read your mind and get back with an answer. I am also booked on a learn-by-osmosis course 
skydiver Dear person who just pushed past me to get on the plane: all parts of the plane land at the same time. Don’t make me kill you. Love, Peter 
VMDoug People are tweeting at “The World of Concrete Expo”, clearly things have gone too far: http://tinyurl.com/d39b97
cartoono RT @sharonhayes: tell me a good joke - please? I had to pay a fine on an overdue library book - about Speed Reading. Absolutely true! 
steverubel “7 Great Things You Can Do With Gmail Multiple Inboxes” http://ff.im/-Xnjx
gapingvoid “Can’t art be a social object?” Oh, for fuck’s sake…
vd “Bandwidth, the petrol of the new global economy”
globalcitizen The teller at the bank just used the word “necceseriously”. I’m going to write that down in the same list as “supposebly”. 
mikebutcher Really looking forward to watching “celebrities” reveal how dull they really are on Twitter. In Twitter Veritas! 
swoodruff Standard disclaimer: The views expressed in my tweets don’t necessarily reflect the views or opinions of anyone else, including me at times - gapingvoid Off to buy a new handgun… #screwyouwerefromtexas
- cartoono When viewed from a train, other people’s lives seem so right and perfect.
UK_BusinessLabs Did you know that the left side of the brain controls speech? Well it would say that wouldn’t it? 
mikecoulter Off to see the EdTwestival human collateral damage at Edinburgh Coffee Morn in Centotre. 
twishes [-O] I wish this damn car alarm would either stay on or STFU, but NOT BOTH IN 2MIN INTERVALS…..*sigh*……. http://tinyurl.com/cf3vfx
AllisterF I do worry. This town doesn’t have enough bandwidth for the all of us. 
PeoplemapsJulie The thing I loved most about @EdTwestival: Connections + Connections = Social… Proper social networking - not biz #EdTwestival
Dutchcowboy screw cancer, lets launch a startup 
ViruSoul_ One Out of Four People in this Word is Mentally Unbalanced. Think of your 3 Closest Friends, if They Seems OK, Then UR the 1. 
borisTwitter tagline: “It is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn” 
chrisbrogan The good news is that I’m busy as hell. The bad news is, I’m still not saying no effectively and often enough. Deadlines missed everywhere. 
GilliganPierce When Satan found me this job, he placed me in the office THISCLOSE to the loo everyone shits in. Also, pretty certain they all have diarrhea 
shelisrael I just prayed for the Lord to give me my Daily Bread. He told me to go down to La Boulangie & pay retail just like everyone else.
Sznq When you’re stealing someone else’s thunder realise 1.You’re an uninspired copycat & 2. It’ll piss them off. 3.Zeus as an enemy sucks.
brandmilitia 2 years ago, to help become a better consultant, my cousin @tacanderson injected me with a street drug called “Twitter”. 
John_Taylor What does it mean to come home to love, tenderness, compassion , understanding & great sex? - You’re in the wrong house! 
steveswrong (opens reader) Well at least Google stop counting when there is over 1000 items to read. 1000+ looks better than 5 million unread (sinner) 
brendanmacneill If RBS lost £28Bn. who’s the lucky fellow that found it? 
Catavarie The worst part about what I’m doing right now is that not only can I not talk about it, but I don’t even know what it is 
sjcurrie Right I have now officially turned into my mother “what the helll are they wearing???” - weblivz@ewanspence ha - i just re-used someone’s avatar to support the copyright protest - not sure where the hell i stand now!
debasispradhan Someone please tell those people who say “never in your wildest dreams” that they really underestimate the wildness of my dreams!
afirmin @clarocada is an intelligent man,Digital biographer he must be a fan,4 you don’t become an author of note,Unless many insights u have wrote 
jake Just brought some pirate water. For £1.20 it better at least have essence of pirate.
swardley @ewanspence: Summarise quantitative easing? How about “An economic laxative. Avoid use when you’re already in the toilet.”
jimwolffman Why Do Some Marketing Materials Use Capitals For Every Fucking Word? Do They Think We Are Stupid. 
frontofficebox Yesterday we had an article on breakfast TV about life coaches - for Cats. Meanwhile the world’s economy is in the crapper WTF 
lxcoza Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fullyrefreshed and on time - Viz- John_Taylor I’m not saying it’s cold this morning, but I saw a lawyer with his hands in his OWN pockets! :-0
- alisongow Someone just used the phrase ‘product roadmap’ in cold blood. Good grief…
patrick “Schiphol airport is closed due to a problem with an inbound flight.” I’m in the plane an via Twitter I see there is a crash! - dotSno Honest, interesting and informed report from traditional media on Twitter reporting of #Schiphol plane crash http://bit.ly/B1zHB
jdlasica@jeffjarvis You may want to bone up on some grand Shakespearean tragedies when discussing fate of newspapers .
jasontryfon Amsterdam Plane Crash: Further Proof Twitter & Social Media Have Overtaken Traditional Media Sources: http://bit.ly/9nOZN
mariaschneider RT @rskloot WTF?! Amazon charging $ for each blog read on Kindle (incl my blog and many friends’). No $ to bloggers? Hello, copyright issue?
davewiner I thought at first I’d have to pay to read my own blog, but it’s even worse. They don’t *have* my blog on it. That is soooo damned rude.
GeoffLiving This post is 18 mos old on social media control. Still as prescient as the day I wrote it. http://tinyurl.com/c8afc3
jonathanfields “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” - Mark Twain 
angellr What does a Drunken Sailor and the Government have in common? The sailor eventually runs out of $$$ and can’t print more!!!
JasonCalacanis @gapingvoid glad to hear you’re off the sauce and cancer sticks… will bring cigars and scotch with me to SXSW! 
ewanmcintosh Just seen naked woman jump into Water of Leith screaming at her/a guy before running after him in badly fastened trench coat.
Scobleizer The public fight focuses on fact that Twitter has some deep problems that the rest of the world will hit soon (and is already hitting). - alisongow There are 100+ phones in the newsroom yet the only one that rings is on the desk next to mine. I am Rosemary the sodding Telephone Operator
joeslaughter My 6 yo is worried about classmate-she is too perfect. Thinks she may be another lifeform in costume - Maybe stop the science fiction games. 
Aubs Thinking of swapping my Lenten sacrifice and instead giving up all the half-assed guys in my life. DEFINITELY a fair trade for caffeine. 
stewarttownsend #fridaynews off to get some quality virgin train food, oh the excitement is so much, I may implode on myself
EverywhereTrip Oh man this is going to suck. I’m stuck in no bandwidth-ville and am going to have to do major surgery on my website 
novaspivack Twine will be available shortly. It is becoming sentient right now 
Kevin_McIntosh_ Has a bank ever bailed you out of a jam? 
Avinio RT @tojulius: hey event people, twitter is not gonna change your business, you need to change it first then twitter will help a lot
50 Top Tweets of January 2009
February 2nd, 2009
No, this is not scientific - it’s just my opinion. Following on from my popular Top Tweets of 2008 blog, these are the best Tweets from Twitter that I saw in January 2009. If you think you said something funnier last month, then follow @clarocada, or add the tag #tt to your best tweets in February.
January was a pretty big month - a month that saw Twitter hit the big time with that now iconic image of an Airbus in the Hudson River, Stephen Fry and Jonathon Ross talking about Twitter on prime-time chat show, and Twitter’s infrastructure holding up on January 20th with the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States.
Here are the best Tweets that I found in January. Enjoy!
- gapingvoid @Sznq Oh No! The hippies have already taken over Web 2.0! Fuck it. I’m leaving. Good-bye.
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frontofficebox And the latest news from UK banking sector is RBS loses £400 mill invested with Madorff - what a bunch if jerks no wonder charges are high
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GeoffLiving I am convinced. Having a lot of Twiiter followers means a) you are immensely popular/influential or b) you spend lots of time on Twitter.
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GilliganPierce Damn. My porn won’t download. How am I supposed to show all my friends what he looks like naked if the pictures don’t come through?
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KnightDiver you’ve got to just love those 4:55pm client calls on a FRIDAY afternoon… I know I do.
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davidjhinson G-d. Please, not another life coach. I’ve been married 23 years. I don’t need another coach in my life, thanks anyway.
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alisongow Thinking dark thoughts about the delivery man whose non-appearance has sentenced me to freezing showers til Monday. Grrrrrrrrrrrr
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LenKendall Sounds like transformers are having sex in my back alley. (garbage truck is slamming the dumpsters repeatedly)
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BankOfApathy One moment while I access your account. Your available balance is…NOTHING YOU BROKE ASS VICTIM OF THE ECONOMY.
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patphelan £4.35 for a coffee and he hangs around for a tip
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arikhanson @skydiver and @chrisbrogan working together? That’s like Superman and Jesus joining forces to save the world. http://twitpic.com/11pgv
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weblivz i feel embarrassed for written language worldwide when i read my mums text messages. It’s like shorthand for minimalists.
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huddlesuz Our local hairdresser is offering 20% off. Bad times, people, bad times with good hair.
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shelisrael @jowyang Nice to see you back in the stream. I missed you. Let’s argue about something.
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leeodden Internet marketing superstar wannabes. Just because you have an opinion and a way to distribute that opinion doesn’t mean you’re right.
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boris Twitter is like a sauna: we are all in the same space, we show everything, but are not really looking at each other.
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boris Of course some people are taking in every detail in this particular sauna and some people are really worth staring at.
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BenRosenzweig I just kneeld down do get dish soap from under the sink. And split my pants… Lesson learned. “Don’t do the dishes”
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frontofficebox Main stream media is killing itself, by just trotting out the rubbish fed it by politicians and PR - and we’re not listening
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ruskin147 twice in 24 hours my first news of a story has come via twitter - Jobs yesterday, plane today
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CherylHarrison At the Apple store. Typing this on the computer that’s about to make me poor.
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weblivz there’s now an oriental guy cleaning our curtains with a hoover. All all the sentences i thought i’d ever tweet that wasn’t high on the list
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Scobleizer Oh, oh, I crashed offbeatguides.com — which is OK, my interview with founder is in 45 minutes. Now we have something to talk about!
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skydiver For future ref: Delta doesn’t find it terribly amusing when you ask if they can make a stopover on 57th and the Hudson b4 heading to LGA.
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scottishlass is realising none of the available editing software has a screaming wean filter. Woah those peaks are like the Himalayas.
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johnfenzel Don’t worry if you’re a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
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davidleeking this morning, i was a cereal killer
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macwriter As a copywriter, I like to say that I’ve in essence been microblogging for close to 20 years. Just for other people’s brands.
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globalcitizen Dear cab driver, please unlock the child proof window controls so that I don’t have to suffocate on the smell of your fart. *puke*
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skydiver Email of the day: “Peter, I’m interviewing media-savvy women for a women-interview-only blog and would like to interview you.” WTF?
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xemion RT @imwithsully: Ad Agency site checklist. Flash. Hokey staff pics. Ambiguous navigation. No benefits, call to action or blog
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ianrmcallister BBC Coverage looks amateurish, and I refuse to watch SkyNews because they can’t do news - switched to CNN
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HeatherPaulsons Unfortunately I will have to explain to my son that his missing hamster now has molted into two dwarf hamsters.. All they had
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patrick My mom asked my what I’d like to have for my 30th birthday, I replied: “I’d love to have one thousand followers”. It’s official, I’m a nerd
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themarketingguy I love my family, but they drank all my beer.
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SimpleEnglish Oh no! I ‘ve been asked to write something longer than 140 characters. I don’t know if I can handle it.
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chacha102 I find it an honor that people take the time to unfollow me.
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davewiner If “favorites” were everything it needs to be then “RT” wouldn’t be necessary.
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bryanthatcher searching thru my stack of paper mail looking for something, I need google for my physical desktop.
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bnox News of the day http://tinyurl.com/bcj3vc Marijuana could prevent - wait… I lost it. Hang on.
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themarketingguy Please do not let the first thing I see on your website be a pop-up sign up window. I don’t even know you yet.
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lyndoman Creativity comes best when you are challenged, you absolutely need someone to question, “what the hell are you talking about?”
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dalecruse Overheard: “Is Jim Morrison the Muppets guy?? I’m google-ing now…” *sigh*
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chrisheuer RT @melissapierece When my 4yr old tells me “I was trying something new with my pee in the living room” I know it’s not a good thing.
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edial This will be the era of Yahoo! baby, we are so BACK!
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edial Shit. I expected riots on streets tonight, and now Google fixed it. Lame.
How to win awards: Pay to influence the judges.
December 22nd, 2008
I got an email today from a company that host marketing and advertising awards, reminding me that my submission for their 2008 Marketing Awards would have to be in by January 8th.
Thanks for the reminder.
They started out by telling me how, with 12 years of experience judging awards, it was still the case that award submissions were often rejected because they were so poorly presented.
Hmm. Interesting - worth spending more care and attention on submissions, it seems.
They then recommended using a professional awards submission service to ensure any submission stood a good chance of being shortlisted.
Hmm. Maybe worth considering such services if I were looking to enter for awards.
They then recommended a specific company who they had partnered with, who would help with my submission for their awards in January and offered a discount on the service. They also mentioned that this service has “an 80% shortlist track record and a 35% win rate.” And the subject of this email? “Influence the judges and win an award“. What the Hell?
Can you see a huge conflict of interest there? Recommending a service that will prepare award submissions for awards that you are judging - and “partnering” with that service to offer the service at a special discount?
Well, I can. So the 2008 Digital Biographer ‘Most Fundamentally and Astonishingly Conflicted Marketing Awards Insider Cynical Nod and Wink Promotion of the Year‘ Award (in association with A Big Fat Brown Envelope) goes to: The Drum Marketing Awards.
Disclosure: There were no runners-up, as there were no other entrants, and there is no prize.
That email in full:
Free Competition: Take 2 minutes to win a domain name.
September 15th, 2008
This month, Certain Host are giving you the chance to win a free domain name!
All you need to do to have a chance of winning your very own .com or .co.uk domain name is to give the correct answer to the simple question below, and send us your name and email address (which will be only be used to notify you of the winner). Good luck!
If you can’t see the entry form here, please visit the competition entry page.
Now, it should be well known to you that Certain Host offer a free domain name with three of their most popular hosting packages, but, we’re just making sure, and spreading the world a little.
Remember - this competition closes on 30th September at 6pm Eastern Standard Time.
PS: If you need a clue with the answer to this question, try looking at the web site of a certain reliable small business web host.
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awards, corporate blogs, googlicious, online identity, search marketing
Competition - Name the proposed Microsoft / Yahoo combine
February 1st, 2008
Competition: What would you call the combined Microsoft / Yahoo?
Best answer wins a year’s free hosting from Certain Host. Competition closes Friday 8th Feb. Enter here with a comment at http://also.cc
Meet Robert Scoble & Werner Vogels in Amsterdam at The Next Web Conference 2008
January 3rd, 2008
Speakers are being confirmed daily for 2008’s European Web 2.0 Event: The Next Web, and include Robert Scoble, Tech Geek Blogger & Author of ‘Naked Conversations‘, Werner Vogels, CTO at Amazon, and Gil Penchina, CEO at Wikia.
Now in its third year, the Amsterdam event’s focus this April is on quality content, and extensive networking opportunities. Organisers anticipate at least 700 web savvies, internet influentials, and industry journalists from over 20 countries will be in Amsterdam, to be inspired, have fun and do business. This year, attending The Next Web Conference gets you free entrance to BrightLive (European version of Nextfest).
Conferences, authors, awards, blonging, commerce, social media
Digital Biographer hits TopRank’s “Best Blogs on the Net” list
December 8th, 2007
Online Marketing Blog is TopRank’s internet marketing blog about the intersection of social media, search marketing and online public relations, and is ranked #8 in the AdAge 150 top web sites. Today, the Digital Biographer Blog was listed in their Top Search Marketing Blogs BIG LIST.
I get to show off a nice BIG LIST logo, and our web traffic is already showing some healthy curves and clicks from the listing. My thanks to Lee Odden, CEO at Online Marketing Blog for the recognition.
Please make sure you keep up to date with our news by adding our RSS Feed to your reader, or subscribe via email using the form on the top right to get a summary by email every time there’s something new worth reading here. You can also follow The Digital Biographer on Twitter - all posts added to this blog automatically appear in the twitter timeline.
awards, digital biographer, googlicious, search marketing, social media
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