Digital Biographer™

1. andrewburnett shite the kilt it’s whisky o’clock again! 5 minutes past Ardbeg and a quarter to Laphroaig to be precise
2. brandmilitia Sometimes the fastest way to screw up a company’s social media strategy is by letting the marketing department run it.
3. gapingvoid My cartoons are what they are. I’m never going to get better, I’m never going to get worse. If you don’t like them, fuck off.
4. chrisbrogan Just made a VC choke somehow on my speaker’s fee. Tough times for startups in 09, kids.
5. jowyang What’s the opposite of breaking embargo? What if brands and companies just told the story themselves.
6. copyblogger I’ve got to go on a carriage ride through Highland Park tonight with 4 kids and 3 lawyers. This is why God gave us scotch.
7. shonali RT @paulbradshaw RT @gmarkham BBC: 6 shot dead at airport; AP “no one killed.” Can we shut up now about “wildly inaccurate” tweets from…
8. GilliganPierce Ehkh. That’s the sound I make when I should be drinking and am not.
9. boris “Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.” — Jorge Luis Borges
10. GilliganPierce I’m cranky. Why am I still at the office? More importantly, why am I not drinking?
11. jeanettejoy I really can spell. I have the little red line on my computer. I just can’t see as fast as I type.
12. Dave_Malby My housekeeper brought over her 2 dogs. 1 of them farted up a storm. She sprayed the office with some shitty spray, I’m choking to death!!
13. GilliganPierce If you drive like you’re drunk, people WILL NOT tailgate you. There’s today’s tip.
14. ruskin147 People – thanks for all the useful thoughts on how PR people can use social media…but now I’m not sure I should encourage them.
15. BrianMoran Love this quote: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit! No use in being a damn fool about it. W.C. Fields
16. timbray Twitter is a conspiracy of pedants. I feel right at home.
17. Werner Keynote done More people awake than I anticipated Very good discussions afterwards Companies are building great stuff on our infrastructure
18. SaraD Accidental Death & Dismembership Insurance. I passed on that. I choose Membership.
19. alisongow I failed to work smarter and now, alas, am being forced to work harder
20. CherylHarrison When I get a Qwitter, I go to the person’s page & unfollow them. Then I read their last 5 tweets & get mad at them ’cause their Tweets suck.
21. dutchproblogger about to go to a karaoke joint with Chinese government officials.., interesting
22. monkchips @timoreilly web 2.0 doesn’t need a purpose, the people living it and using it do. its already working for change, now we need to as well
23. journalismnews Online now generating 80 per cent of operating profit, says Norwegian newspaper group: Digital acc.. http://tinyurl.com/584vns
24. tkunau Spent the morning reading enterprise data migration whitepapers and plans. The result is pretty much what you’re thinking right now.
25. Sweetnote Thinking Southern CA rivals Texas in wanting BIG things…hair,boobs,SUVS seem to be the going thing..& Viagra sales are up too!
26. gapingvoid I see the light. Most tech bloggers are playing checkers, MSFT has been playing chess all along. Fuck.
27. onetake Amused by Vista. To check for updates, I must first install an update for Windows Update. Try saying that three times fast.
28. simonelli Woke up with a huge election. 11:43 AM Nov 5th, 2008
29. scottishlass Election kit: popcorn,bag of cheezies,Minstrels,Irn Bru and Red Bull…all ready for tactical deployment. Heart attack one way or the other. 11:17 PM Nov 4th, 2008
30. Tamkin “ Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. ”
31. evablue forget spellcheck. i need to braincheck. i realized i typed food instead of good. or maybe some proper sleep. [enter]
32. gapingvoid Trying to get my “travel time” down to one week a month. Leaves three weeks for cartoons and hatching new evil secret plans.
33. A_F RT @JacquiD When your kid quotes the Ramones at you in the middle of a conversation, you know you’ve done at least one thing right
34. boris Power surge in our car almost blew up speakers. Slightly deaf now but still cruising
35. stewarttownsend RT @paulcarr: I’m not even taking the wine. I’m spectating a wine tasking. – this is bad… very bad…spectator event
36. globalcitizen I love portugal – ride to airport is less than 10 euros. In london, you need to get a mortgage to take cab around the block
37. RobinBernstein Oh, man, you know it’s time for bed when you fall asleep while reading Twitter. Sorry guys. It’s not you. It’s me. Really.
38. socialmedian Oops. I just sent a real person a text I ment to send to twitter
39. CherylHarrison We are the angry mob. We read the papers everyday. We like who we like, we hate who we hate. But we’re all so easily swayed.
40. gdryden Updated my twitter background with a pic of an inversion across a Russian silurian reef.
41. gapingvoid It isn’t about Obama vs McCain. It’s about something far more permanent, and healthy: Who ACTUALLY rules? College Boys or Good Ol’ Boys…?
42. copyblogger “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.” ~Peter Drucker
43. KelAndPartners One of our copywriters got most of his hair cut off. Looks awesome. Unfortunately, it seems that’s where he stored his patience.
44. CherylHarrison PEOPLE, DON’T TALK ON YOUR CELL PHONE IN THE BATHROOM. It can wait. That is all.
45. swardley U.S. Cost of Car Ownership $900b+ p.a. Paulson Plain $700b+, U.S highways spending $150b+ U.S environmental budget $35 billion+ -> FAIL.
46. alisongow Overheard in office: “Oh yeah, he’s famous for nobbing the shoe heiress”… we create poetry here every day, folks
47. mikeboyd Attention UQ lecturer who shall not be named… “Villagisation” is NOT a word. It’s not even close to a word. You call yourself an academic?
48. andybeal “With uncertainty dominating the nation’s economy…” is a funny way to start a sales pitch for a $2,000 per ticket conference
49. ajturner people – when you send out emails asking for others to please edit a page, it helps immensely to *include a link to that page*. it’s the web
50. leeodden dang, ran out of holes on my belt. Need to get a new one. Offline for a bit.
51. Werner Ah, now I remember, jetlag is this thing that makes you wake up at 4AMfull of energy. FAIL.
52. gapingvoid @scobleizer If all of us bloggers were like you, most of us would be dead or insane inside 18 months http://tinyurl.com/4pywta
53. Scobleizer I’m looking at my blog’s comments and love how the stupidest blog post gets people to comment when the smartest video doesn’t. Sigh.
54. pahlkadot dear people who set requirements for passwords: i can do letter/number combinations, I can do 6-8 characters. I can’t do BOTH! Screw you!
55. renn client happy with logo 1. Decides to go for logo 2. I accidentally get rid of logo 1. Clients decides to go for 1. Now I’m redoing it. Fail.
56. gapingvoid Twitter is great for self-promotion, sharing cool stuff and building goodwill. It’s at its best it does all three at the same time.
57. dbrowell My daughter is devastated, Build-A-Bearville’s website is down! (She’s reacting as of all its inhabitants are dying somewhere.)
58. timoreilly Retweet @jdickerson: Dubai is like the current financial bubble. All those nutty towers and buildings are going to sproing undone some day
59. NikkiPilkington I had to wait until 6am to tweet in case everyone thought i had nothing better to do////
60. bryanthatcher iPhone, when I say fuck and shit I don’t want to be saying duck and shot
61. lyndoman It’s just sometimes people need to step away from a site they are too involved in and go and read some 14th Century Russian poetry
62. johncthompson “Like making Voldemort headmaster of Hogwarts” – backbench Labour MP on Mandelson’s return to the cabinet as business secretary.
63. scottishlass weird referer logs part gazillion. Googlebot visits one of our forms and submits search for “HOOVERING”. Could ye do the dishes too Google.
64. TomRaftery Why would I want to pay for deforested, dead tree, out-of date, news when I have it all online coming to me?
65. gdryden I live in a shitty house. i can afford the mortgage. Around me are people with no money living in better houses in foreclosure. Game over.
66. mbites My head. Someone spiked my beer with beer. Bastards.
67. johncthompson Sitting in Gatwick ‘Village’, my 19:45 to Oslo having been cancelled due to a hole in the door. ETD now 2am. A pigeon has just flown past.
68. dbrowell The call that came on my cell during my presentation told me I hadn’t picked up my reserved copy of Lego Batman. NERD.
69. globalcitizen Hey @pistachio was that you who tweeted that you gargled with bath gel at #bwe08??? I JUST did the same thing. Bath gel should NOT be blue!
70. NikkiPilkington A new puppy – a bit like having a new baby except you have to go looking for the poo..
71. alisongow my fingers are about to catch fire from liveblogging football. Why can’t they all be called Smith for chrissakes?
72. mathie I need a pair of headphones. Or a shotgun and at least 5 cartridges. Or an office of my own.
73. pixelnated is about to ‘accidentally’ knock that coffee in the lap of Mr Loud sipper in this conference room.
74. patrickbyers “Don’t make me twit-slap you, you spam-bastard.” Hey, I like the way that sounds.
75. boris Whoah, stumbled upon a whole collection of NSFW Twitter people. Adult industry has definitely found Twitter
76. themarketingguy Feedburner is broken this morning. Says I have 0 subscribers. At least I hope Feedburner is broken.
77. PatriciaMayo My hair is doing a very bad impersonation of Marla Singer after the best sex she’s had since grade school.
78. chrisbrogan Old school business folks drive me apeshit. Stop saying the same things over and over again. Turdburgers.
79. boris I’m reading a book titled “more sex is safer sex” in public. Took the cover off.
80. Scobleizer By the way, 1,200 people have unfollowed me so far. I wish I had a list. Then I could make fun of them without them knowing.
81. shalunov People with great ideas have many, most of which are stupid. It’s OK. Only the great ones matter.
82. boris Alvin Toffler: The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read & write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn
83. boris Wow, mondays truly ARE the potholes of life. Long day.
84. billclinton If I was still president I would PARDON Paris Hilton. With one condition…when I drop my pants she will whisper in my ear…”THAT’S HOT” 4:47 AM May 12th, 2007

Yes, that last one from Bill Clinton (allegedly) is from 2007. What was your favourite? Please add your comment or retweet.